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Calvary: bleak film, positive priest

July 30, 2014


I don’t write about films that much, but this was a good one. I know it was good because it had ideas in it that I’d thought about before but never really seen expressed in a movie.
Plot: a priest sits in the confession box and is told by an unnamed person that he’s going to die a week on Sunday. He seems to know who it is, but we don’t. He walks around the village for the rest of the week, death sentence hanging over him, and meets the biggest collection of motherfuckers ever put on film. One of them is the potential killer. His daughter arrives after a suicide attempt and they look at Irish scenery together. Locations are windswept. Father Ted sets are re-used. Finally, a week on Sunday arrives and the priest goes to the beach to meet his killer.

Subplot: the villagers all have their little stories, or failing that, an attitude. Littlefinger turns up as an atheist doctor who is close in spirit to the Joker. The token black guy is, refreshingly, a complete twat, but not in a one note way. A French [Italian?] woman loses her boyfriend and is probably the only other truly decent person in the film, even when in deep grief. Or possibly because she’s in deep grief.

There isn’t really much of a plot, actually.

If you took away the ‘who’s gonna kill him’ element, you’d still have a strong film. I don’t know if the director realised that. Maybe he was advised to include the mystery angle to keep people watching or to get someone to fund the thing.

Or maybe the sense of foreboding is what he really wanted. The idea that the church and its priests are all stuck in a village-shaped Hell [semi-deservedly due to all the kiddie fiddling and attempted cover-ups] and the end is near. Read more…

Mr Han Man // Marc Horne

July 22, 2014



Into the hall of mirrors I stagger pell-mell. It is so fast a thing to die, for a man with a fuzzy hook kill hand.

Boosh. Spear right through the chest. It feels like having your hand chopped off but much warmer.

Death comes in instants. Body says ‘why hang around?’ It releases the consciousness to the symmetries, then the similarities and then to all other elements.


If you die in a hall of mirrors, dying is broken.

I spin around the roundabout of death, speared on the spinning mirror door. Bleeding Bruce Lee regards me with forced menace. But really he is serene. He killed me like he kills a push up.

On the third spin I stagger pell-mell out of the hall of mirrors, inverted. Read more…

For A Laugh // Tyson Bley

June 29, 2014


In the ongoing crusade to crusade on behalf of some guy in Germany who we’ve never even met…


for a laugh
harsh soup is laid softly on placemats, dish towels, band posters
cranked from a multi-storey video game
as peak eye-contact with the robot grimes tits
which since God and time were born
levitated in lab coats
(the tits have)
shooting carcasses moving through the metro afterworld
from an inside-out Mazda
dolphin cum turns wine into a jaded, lab-grown flavor
gotten via drainage – for a laugh
in turn derived from an incision in the head
(laughter also happens) at the threat of WEEDS SPROUTING
after shaving my balls in the Transporter Room

Read more…

Berlin and zines and street fights

June 15, 2014


I was only there for nine days, and six of those days were non-zine related, so three days in total was spent roaming around, looking for good places to put zines.

The best ones I found were these:

1] Z cinema [or Z-inema, I'm not sure which] – a small bar/cinema that shows bizarro films


2] Filmkunst Fitzcarraldo – a video rental bar that has a small bicycle above the outside window.

3] Moviemento – Berlin’s oldest independent cinema

And that’s it.

I’ll do write ups on two of those places soon, when I’m not working on that ‘Psycho Holosuite’ story. It’s been two months so far. Two months to write one story. It would never have happened in the old days.

There were other places that could’ve been good for zines, but I didn’t get around to them.

Also, through all my constant zine-placing in various cities, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s better to put zines in bars or cinema bars than actual zine stores.

Zine stores are usually empty and a black hole for zines. They get put there easily enough, which is good, but the chances of anyone ever seeing one are tiny. There’s just too much choice, and all the zines are usually stacked side on so you can’t even judge them on their covers. Read more…

The Stand [zine event in Bangkok]

June 2, 2014



I’m in Berlin right now, scouting other locations for zines, but here’s something that’s happening in Bangkok in July…we won’t be there but we did send them some issues of the Gupter zine…hopefully the military will be tolerant enough to let them pass…

Note: it seems to be too late to send zines to them, but you could always ask…

Gupter Puncher Issue 6

May 20, 2014


It’s been a year since I’ve done a zine.

It’s not a good feeling to be doing nothing, so I look back to past issues and I find this…ISSUE 6…made 5 years ago [I think].

I’m quite proud of it despite the shit formatting…I’m proud of all the zines beyond issue 3 [the first 2 were pretty bad]…so I’m gonna put some of them online in PDF form. If anyone’s got an hour or two to kill…

Here’s  Gupter Issue 6 to download and here’s an extract from it: Read more…

Inside Llewyn Davis and other thoughts

May 8, 2014



I’m not sure how to write articles any more…I’m in a bit of a funk, I think I’ve used up all my life experience and now my life is just the same thing over and over, safe and repetitive, so writing-wise I could be in trouble.

Or maybe the trip to Germany will help?

I don’t know. I started a story a few weeks ago called ‘Psycho Holosuite’ – you can probably guess what it’s about from the title – then the next day I pictured the future book cover for the story and thought, man, I should turn this into something a little longer, maybe 30,000 words or something close.

I managed 6 pages before I got stuck.

The idea was there, and I knew where it was going and what the scenes would be, but I just couldn’t actually write it. 6 pages was the limit. This is the funk. A few years ago, I would’ve had it done in a week.

What’s going on?

Maybe it’s this: the story was based on a concept, a bunch of thoughts I’d had while daydreaming, but there was no life experience available to fill it out. There was no main character because it was only based on a bunch of thoughts, and I hadn’t lived out anything interesting or different in the last few years to give him any truth or depth. I didn’t really know this guy, and I didn’t know how to make it up.

In short: he’s a reforming psychopath, I’m not. Read more…


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