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Hamlet of Yokosuka

August 18, 2014

(hey… this poem is about the video game “shenmue” and basically nothing else)


They say that revenge is a dish best served cold, but maybe they just don’t sell it hot.

I went to the convenience store this morning and counted all the different kinds of rice ball. Imagining that later in the day I would get kicked in the head.

While my father’s corpse entered a new stage of decay and he shrugged off his face, I was lucky enough to receive in quick succession a Virtua Fighter gashapon figure that looked like me [Ryu] and like my father’s killer [Lau Chan]

I walk around town everyday and I talk to people but as I walk away I hear them say, “Shouldn’t he be avenging his father?” Why would I be asking about sailors and things like that if I wasn’t looking for revenge? You just can’t always find it in a concrete town.

The best thing about revenge is whether you kill the man or he kills you, you win.

The worst thing is non-revenge. Driving a fork lift truck is a step towards pulping the face, but no one knows. No one believes you can drive towards destiny in a fork lift.

When the transcendent moment comes I will get on my bike. Nozomi behind me to accentuate the wind in her chestnut hair and cashmere sweater.

When that moment comes, music will swell like never before. Cinematic camera angles will dominate.

At this exact moment, though, I am playing with a cat I found in a box. Meanwhile the world spins and winds up my revenge.

I just need to walk around, look around and be ready for the moment, quick with time.

I walk and avoid people for solid hours. I envy those that die in hot revenge, bloodied and without a second of doubt, bloated up by massive hormones. Bodies fall down like the leaves of autumn.

If I don’t complete my revenge before all the leaves are gone, then time will be taken away from me.

Fiction: Uchu-jin Time Strip

August 17, 2014


One of those stories that no one seems to like except me…

Might be disliked for the following reasons:

i] it is all over the place

ii] the Halle Berry scene

iii] the Korean killer from ‘Memories of Murder’ pops up and kills the schoolgirl [twice]

iv] the theme is not clear enough – it doesn’t stick with anyone close enough or long enough. The nearest thing to a main character is the alien scientist and he flits in and out.

I’m leaning towards ii]


In many ways Susan Sarandon was more than just the rut interest from Bull Durham and the ex-wife of Tim Robbins, she was also the mind interest of sub space aliens who conducted experiments with/in/outside of time.

It had started, the Sarandon interest, when a stray signal from Earth swerved and poked itself into sub space by mistake…and ended up on one of the screens inside an alien base only eight sub-parsecs from the Sol System [not that distance really mattered].

Alien: What’s this?
Alien 2: White Palace.
Alien: Well…I don’t like white, and I don’t really like palaces…wait, who’s that?
Alien 2: The one with the stick?
Alien: No.
Alien 2: The one with the hills?
Alien: Yes, who is she?
Alien 2: Susan Sarandon.
Alien: Wow.
Alien 2: I know. Read more…

Gupter Puncher Issue 14

August 6, 2014



The last one we did, not the one coming in Sept.

I get confused with the numbers too.

But it’s the one with this:

‘There was a deep knot forming in my stomach, the same knot I always got before going to see a new Eddie Murphy movie.’

Jean Luc Godard, on the set of ‘Breathless again’, 2015

and this:

…and now that he was spinning into the time-fucking Space hole, Robocop knew what year he wanted to go back to…


Tomomi Leung taking a crack at the Brasilian film industry

Tyson Bley analysis

The History of Vulcan Love Slave

Michael from ‘Prison Break’ in Ljubljana

Marc Horne stuff

Fritz Lang


If you want to have a read of it for nothing then download the PDF here: Gupter Puncher Issue 14


Calvary: bleak film, positive priest

July 30, 2014


I don’t write about films that much, but this was a good one. I know it was good because it had ideas in it that I’d thought about before but never really seen expressed in a movie.
Plot: a priest sits in the confession box and is told by an unnamed person that he’s going to die a week on Sunday. He seems to know who it is, but we don’t. He walks around the village for the rest of the week, death sentence hanging over him, and meets the biggest collection of motherfuckers ever put on film. One of them is the potential killer. His daughter arrives after a suicide attempt and they look at Irish scenery together. Locations are windswept. Father Ted sets are re-used. Finally, a week on Sunday arrives and the priest goes to the beach to meet his killer.

Subplot: the villagers all have their little stories, or failing that, an attitude. Littlefinger turns up as an atheist doctor who is close in spirit to the Joker. The token black guy is, refreshingly, a complete twat, but not in a one note way. A French [Italian?] woman loses her boyfriend and is probably the only other truly decent person in the film, even when in deep grief. Or possibly because she’s in deep grief.

There isn’t really much of a plot, actually.

If you took away the ‘who’s gonna kill him’ element, you’d still have a strong film. I don’t know if the director realised that. Maybe he was advised to include the mystery angle to keep people watching or to get someone to fund the thing.

Or maybe the sense of foreboding is what he really wanted. The idea that the church and its priests are all stuck in a village-shaped Hell [semi-deservedly due to all the kiddie fiddling and attempted cover-ups] and the end is near. Read more…

Mr Han Man // Marc Horne

July 22, 2014



Into the hall of mirrors I stagger pell-mell. It is so fast a thing to die, for a man with a fuzzy hook kill hand.

Boosh. Spear right through the chest. It feels like having your hand chopped off but much warmer.

Death comes in instants. Body says ‘why hang around?’ It releases the consciousness to the symmetries, then the similarities and then to all other elements.


If you die in a hall of mirrors, dying is broken.

I spin around the roundabout of death, speared on the spinning mirror door. Bleeding Bruce Lee regards me with forced menace. But really he is serene. He killed me like he kills a push up.

On the third spin I stagger pell-mell out of the hall of mirrors, inverted. Read more…

For A Laugh // Tyson Bley

June 29, 2014


In the ongoing crusade to crusade on behalf of some guy in Germany who we’ve never even met…


for a laugh
harsh soup is laid softly on placemats, dish towels, band posters
cranked from a multi-storey video game
as peak eye-contact with the robot grimes tits
which since God and time were born
levitated in lab coats
(the tits have)
shooting carcasses moving through the metro afterworld
from an inside-out Mazda
dolphin cum turns wine into a jaded, lab-grown flavor
gotten via drainage – for a laugh
in turn derived from an incision in the head
(laughter also happens) at the threat of WEEDS SPROUTING
after shaving my balls in the Transporter Room

Read more…

Berlin and zines and street fights

June 15, 2014


I was only there for nine days, and six of those days were non-zine related, so three days in total was spent roaming around, looking for good places to put zines.

The best ones I found were these:

1] Z cinema [or Z-inema, I'm not sure which] – a small bar/cinema that shows bizarro films


2] Filmkunst Fitzcarraldo – a video rental bar that has a small bicycle above the outside window.

3] Moviemento – Berlin’s oldest independent cinema

And that’s it.

I’ll do write ups on two of those places soon, when I’m not working on that ‘Psycho Holosuite’ story. It’s been two months so far. Two months to write one story. It would never have happened in the old days.

There were other places that could’ve been good for zines, but I didn’t get around to them.

Also, through all my constant zine-placing in various cities, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s better to put zines in bars or cinema bars than actual zine stores.

Zine stores are usually empty and a black hole for zines. They get put there easily enough, which is good, but the chances of anyone ever seeing one are tiny. There’s just too much choice, and all the zines are usually stacked side on so you can’t even judge them on their covers. Read more…


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