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Amazon top 20 [and what it all means…]

April 24, 2011

     

We don’t analyse much here at zizek press…we don’t even look at the amazon top 20 very often, either because none of our books are in it or the books which are in it are shit…but this week, or this day, we’ll give it a shot.

Let’s see [and we’re going off the UK Kindle chart here]:

1 – The Crimson Petal and white

There’s a TV show version of this on at the moment. Is it the one with whores and actresses who don’t care about taking their shirts off? I think so. But who’s buying all the books? Isn’t the TV show enough for them?

2 – Sugar and Spice: The groundbreaking debut crime thriller

The book that puts its short pitch in the title. Fucking hell. Not sure what the plot is but it’s something about paedophiles, and from the reviews it’s got, it looks like it’s sympathetic to them. And still it sells…which is pretty amazing really. Can it be a good book?

No. We’ve read the sample and it’s average-shit. Next.

3 – Truth Dare Kill

Don’t know who wrote it, don’t really care. Seems like a piece of shit. Is it?

This is depressing. Did you know 92% of writers have nothing to say for themselves? Did you know that 85% of the world has no brain and laps up all this shit they think is decent/culture?

Man, I’m burning here. Turning into nothing but a whinge. All the usual points too…’man, look at the state of it all and why is there never anything decent any place near the top of the-…’

Let’s skip ahead a bit, or skip down…the very top books are usually bad, so maybe there’s a decent one punching above its weight further down?

6 – Mr Right for the Night

God awful title. Chick lit. What else?

Man, I don’t know…I don’t think I wanna do this anymore. I’m going right to the end, see if there’s one that has a decent title at least.

Not much there…you’ve got those Swedish books, the hornet nest thing and kicking the fire…there’s the Eagle of the Ninth, which has been around for ages, but recently there was a Channing Tatum film out so it’s back…it’s weird, I’ve never wanted to read the book version of any movie I’ve seen, even The Shining…reading the book then seeing the film is interesting, but not the other way round…not for me anyway…what was my point?

No, wait, look…it’s The Slap!

17 – The Slap

I’ve heard of this one. A stranger punches another man’s kid in the face and tells him it was only a slap. They disagree and it escalates and the other Dad trains his kid to kill the guy who punched/slapped him and at the end there’s a forty page battle between a five year old boy and a thirty-five year old man. The man wins.

I heard it was quite good too. But wait…it’s only got a 2 and a half star average! How can it be if it’s so good? And how the fuck can Mr Right for the Night get a four star average?

Expectations maybe?

Maybe the people who read The Slap hate being told what’s good and what’s not, whereas the people who read Mr Right for the Night are simpletons who don’t really give a shit what it reads like as long as there’s a woman fucking around on her own terms…can it be true?

And why is the author in the picture above standing in an alley with grafitti? Did he spray it himself? Does he live in the alley? Which part of it exactly has anything to do with him?

When will writers and actors and musicians learn to stop doing promo shots?

Orlando Bloom doing that fucking scent commerical, messing around like it was-…

Man, that’s about as much as the top 20 as i can take for now. Any other things noticed?

Yup, there is one. There seem to be a lot of books in there that are $1 or maybe a little more. Which means the mighty indies are making an impact. But are they really?

Nope, they’re not. Think about what would happen if they charged the same price as the other published books, and then you’d see the difference. Not that the indie books are any worse, but…

This all seems a little negative, and bitter. Maybe i should change tack?

Okay, i’ve looked at the top 20 again and…I just can’t. It’s bad, it’s all bad. Anyone with even a fragment of a mind knows the really good stuff is rarely in the top 20, especially when it comes to books. Try looking between 1000 and 10000 and you might find better things. As well as shit things. Or not.

I don’t know, it’s all one big, confusing heap.

I hate money.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Salingertwin permalink
    April 24, 2011 6:57 pm

    You big whinge.

  2. Salingertwin permalink
    April 24, 2011 7:00 pm

    Seriously though, it can get depressing staring at box office every week, but you’ve just gotta keep perspective. And I’m aware that this article was tongue in cheek, or I assume it was partially at least, but once the rage and the bitterness has a hold of you then there’s only one way you’re going. Down.

    If we really hate money then these charts shouldn’t affect us as much as they do. As long as we can get those thousand readers then all is sweet. Right?

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