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Jedward Speaks!

August 20, 2011
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I AM JEDWARD.

THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

LOOK AT MY TWO HEADS: ARE THEY LAUGHING? NO. NOT EVEN ONE OF THEM.

YOU THINK I AM ‘TWINS’. YOU THINK I AM ‘IRISH’ YOU THINK I AM ‘JOHN’ AND ‘EDWARD’. ALL THIS IS BULLSHIT.

I AM A TWO-HEADED MONSTER, CHANNELLING THE SPIRIT OF MAX HEADROOM.

I AM GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. I WILL IRRITATE YOU ALL INTO THE APOCALYPSE.

I HAVE ALREADY CAPTURED OBAMA. THAT BALDING HEADED LITTLE ORANGE/TAN FACED MAN.  SEE  THE TERROR IN HIS EYES.

ADMIRE  THE STUPENDOUS VERTICAL TRAJECTORY OF MY QUIFFS.

WHAT, DID YOU THINK THIS WAS JUST ‘POP MUSIC’?

I AM COMING FOR YOU, NEXT, DICKFACE.

THE FUTURE IS OVER.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Stavrogin permalink
    August 23, 2011 2:53 pm

    Jedward turned into cookie monster?

  2. Stavrogin permalink
    August 23, 2011 2:54 pm

    hang on, are they cookie monsters? They have horns…

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