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Getting to know the writer

November 3, 2011

1.
He lives in London with his partner, Jane, and their two children.
He lives in London with his wife.
She lives in Brooklyn with her labrador.
He has lived in Paris, Karachi, Madrid and now San Juan Capistrano.
He splits his time between Dallas and Cape Town, where he was born.
She lives in Newport Pagnell, with her second husband Larry and their growing brood.
She lives on Planet Earth.
She lives on the page.
He lives in he lives.
She lives.

2.
He is represented by who gives a fuck, inc.
She is represented by who gives a fuck, inc.
She follows an agent on twitter.
He will be represented, so why not act like he is?
He is represented.
He is validated.
He is validated by who gives a fuck inc.

3.
He is rugged [headshot]
She has long hair [headshot]
She is kind of goth [headshot]
Oh, she really does have a labrador [headshot]
She is suspiciously cropped [headshot]
He can be intense [headshot]
He likes to hold a book [headshot]
She wants to be your friend, she is like you, she is laughing [headshot]

SO WILL YOU BUY THIS BOOK NOW THAT WE ARE FRIENDS?

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. ShaminaNovels permalink
    November 3, 2011 2:59 pm

    God, bitter much?

    So how is this “indie-er than thou” thing working out for you?

    Oh, you are big in Hong Kong? Did I ever tell you about my Canadian boyfriend? He’s a lumberjack.

    Fuck off, babies.

  2. Jake Lingford permalink
    November 3, 2011 3:06 pm

    I am with the previous commenter. I come here for the writing but this constant sniping at writers has me on the verge of canceling my subscription, so to speak.
    Are you trying to tell me that if Kafka brought out a book today, he wouldn’t have the usual stuff on the inside flap? It’s just what people expect.

    You guys are getting so far up your own you know what that you are losing focus.

    And by the way, I live in Seattle with my partner Andrew and when I am published next year I’ll be sure to mail you a copy of my book so you can see how it is done.

  3. Rubber Donny permalink
    November 3, 2011 4:29 pm

    I’m with the angry mob! This site sucks, let’s burn it down! Shamina Novels, you’re so cool as fuck, you wanna trade follows on Twittre? @rubberdonny, thanks. And same for you guys, Jake, Seattle and Andrew…hit me up, let’s mobilising!

    [and please visit my website and leave a comment, it’s http://www.dramaticpanther.com]

  4. November 3, 2011 9:31 pm

    Is this part of Nanowamo? #Nanowamo

  5. Jen Cosgrove permalink
    November 3, 2011 11:22 pm

    Cool down guys! I think this is a satire. Maybe we should ask ourselves if the publishing paradigm of the cult (or ‘platform’) of the writer is truly serving us as artists? I know it is something I have spent a lot of time thining about at my blog writingforwriters.blogspot.net

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