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End of Year Review [Deleted Scenes + miscellaneous]

January 2, 2012

Just a few things our first review left out…

Overview of 2011…

Version One: We sold out early [sometime in March, I think] and didn’t sell a thing.

Version Two: 2011 was horrible. Is there really any point going on with this?

Version Three: Nothing can stop us conquering 2012, we are unconquerable, invincible, implacable [?]. There are at least five cities that will fall to us this year, just like Bucharest, Ljubljana and Hong Kong fell to us in 2011. With the writers we have, how can we fail?

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[Short Interview with Zasulich in the May, 2011 issue of Weyland Magazine]

Interviewer: Is it easy to sell out?

Zasulich: Not as easy as you’d think. All the writers who say they could stop writing what they want and just churn out a Twilight or generic crime thriller and make millions are full of shit. Do you know how many writers there are out there? I don’t know the numbers, but I heard somewhere that you could stand all the writers next to each other and they would stretch around the world fourteen times.

Interviewer: But it can’t really be that hard to write a paranormal romance, can it?

Zasulich: It is. Try ignoring all your writing instincts for 150 pages, see how far you get. It’s almost impossible. Or try this: Go to a bookshop, pick up any paranormal romance and read a page at random. Then ask yourself if you could write that page, in that same style.

**********

On Zine Novels…

In our heads, this is the future of writing and literature.

In reality, these are things that few people buy.

**********

On readings…

‘Readings are events where people with no stage presence read out pages from books that were meant to be read alone.’ – Kurt Vonnegut, at a reading in Paris, 1982 [just before his suicide attempt]

If you’ve got a gun to your head and a reading’s the only way out, the best thing to do is hire actors. Here’s a list of possibles:

1] Liam Neeson

2] Avery Brooks [Captain from ‘DS9’, very distinctive voice/cadence]

3] Brian Cox [Guy who played Hannibal Lector, not the science guy]

4] Actors still at acting school, no reputation yet.

5] Patrick Stewart

6] Antonio Banderas [In Spanish only]

*********

On failure…

The functioning rule of Zizek Press is ‘never try and make a living from writing.’

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Things to look forward to in 2012…

Ljubljana

The area around the train station looks like shit, but get to the river or the art commune and you’ll know why we spend so much time here.

Anti-Content Engineering

Writing without tags, content or subject matter.

Zine Novels in LA/London/San Diego

They will be there by March.

Cabin in the Woods

Delayed for seventeen years, directed by Joss Whedon and starring Thor + unknowns. Somehow this thing looks like it might be decent.

Automatic Assassin 2/Uchu-Jin/QRG book

Marc’s first AA was so short there had to be a sequel. Uchu-Jin has a Japanese bully, an 8,000 year old witch and Channing Tatum. QRG can’t sell her first book due to copyright issues, so this time she’s writing something she can. Not sure when they’ll all hit. Maybe sometime in the summer.

Exhibitions

These will be different from any other exhibition that has ever touched a wall. Can’t say how, not yet [This could be bullshit. There are many exhibitions we’ve never seen, what we’re doing could be second rate. We’ll see].

Gupter Puncher Issues 12, 13, 14 and 15

There will be more of these printed than ever before. Issue 12 will deal with alternate realities and Steve Martin cut in half. Issue 13 will walk the lower reaches of Hollywood. Issue 14 will be the end of everything. Issue 15, the re-mix of whatever’s left.

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Hero[es] of the Year

The Chinese Government

Villain of the Year

Money

Decent actor who’s average-looking at best but has somehow been elevated to heartthrob because of a film where he doesn’t speak and another film where he speaks like someone with no charisma even though he’s supposed to be the very definition of charisma of the Year

Ryan Gosling

Surprise of the Year

Wentworth Miller [Michael from ‘Prison Break’] writing the new Park Chan Wook film, ‘Stoker’

Depressing Inevitability of the Year

It’s happening right now. Keanu Reeves trying to fuck Japanese History and co-star Kou Shibasaki in ’47 Ronin’.

Book of the Year

Automatic Assassin

Scene of the Year

The bit in ‘Hanna’ where Eric Bana walks out of a Berlin bus station and life is happening all around him. The fight in the subway a minute later is okay, but a bit dumb.  

Quote of the Year

‘Never give up, never surrender.’

 

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