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The last thing by John Updike…

February 26, 2012

Note to whichever fucker’s my editor these days,

Enclosed is latest masterpiece. Shorter than usual. Publish or don’t, who gives a shit?

Jupiter’s got enough moons for all of us.



Alaric but Alaric

Man lays on the cuddly banana, two thirds of his back uncovered, lighter but no cigarette.

He thinks backwards.

That was nice.

Frank Grillo.

Put the driver’s licence between your hands and pray.

Day of an animal

Bit of book

16 year old misses you, compares you to rock.

Man lights his finger and tries to smoke the nail. It burns. He thinks forwards from the backwards and frames something: ‘That fucker called me pale.’

He rages against God then skin then God again.

He laughs.

A light goes off in a nearby window. It’s nothing to do with him.

He rolls off the banana and picks up a book. He opens to page something, stops, thinks:

‘Didn’t I use to give personal history better than this?’

He goes back to the book and reads.

Back in Mystic Falls, Damon changes his attitude and kills Alaric but Alaric comes back to life. Damon then tries to kill Bill. Caroline saves her father by giving him her blood and has a confrontation with Damon.

Man nods, tries again to light cigarette that isn’t there.

‘Damon’ he mutters, then dies.

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