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Star Trek: TNG: The first season – Episode List

March 26, 2012

 

Series One of the Next Generation always gets bad press, but is it really that shit?

Let’s look back and re-review:

1 – Encounter at Farpoint
After being refused entry to the Enterprise for lewd behaviour, First Officer Riker is arrested and charged with sexual assault by an entity known as Q – and the punishment is death!

2 – The Naked Now
The crew encounters a ship where everyone died from extreme overacting. Can Brent Spiner [Data] rein it in?
3 – Code of Racism
Tasha Yar is kidnapped by a struggling planet of minority actors and forced to gymnastic someone to death.

4 – The Last Outpost
While pursuing a Ferengi ship the Enterprise and its crew become trapped in a piss poor episode. Can they work with the scheming Ferengi to free themselves from it? Will the Ferengi stop dancing around like monkeys?
5 – Where no man has gone before
After watching the last two episodes back to back, Picard attempts to salvage the series by allowing an alien on board who has the ability to carry the ship across the Universe with his forehead.
6 – Lonely among us
Worf hangs around with Geordi LaForge, the two of them figuring there’s more chance of screen time if they stick together. It works. Some alien entity possesses Worf, but quickly slips away and latches onto Picard. Then the captain orders the ship into a dangerous nebula, forcing Riker and Troi to consider the only viable option – mutiny! [that or draw a picture of a fake nebula on the view-screen]
7 – Justice
After killing some flowers, Wesley Crusher is put on [very casual] trial and sentenced to death. Picard does his best to leave orbit asap, but the script calls him back. Can he find a way to sabotage Wesley’s appeal?

Co-starring William Sadler as the flowers.

8 – The Battle
Picard meets the Ferengi whose son he murdered 12 years earlier and accepts something that looks like a mind-controlling device as a gift. After keeping it in his room for the whole episode, Picard starts to act like some kind of device is controlling his mind. Can the crew save him before he does something dramatic? Is there some kind of device controlling his mind? What’s that thing in his room?

9 – Hide and Q
Picard is left frustrated as Riker leads another episode. Q returns and offers all his powers to Riker, who uses them to save children from dying and turn Wesley into the bassist from Power Station.

10 – Haven
The Enterprise encounters a haven. Can they get out?

11 – The Big Goodbye
After a ship malfunction, Picard, Dr Crusher, Data and the ship’s anthro-apologist are trapped in a 20th Century Private Detective holodeck program with real gangsters and real guns. Can Picard play the game for real and keep himself, Data and the Doctor alive?

12 – Datalore
The Enterprise visits a planet and discovers a ‘brother’ of Data called Lore – so begins a litany of continuity errors that will plague the series for the rest of its run.

13 – Angel One
Tasha and Troi relax and do nothing in guest quarters on a planet run by women. Can they get out in time to watch Riker fuck the planet’s leader?
14 – 1001000010000100001001
Riker discovers a woman on board he hasn’t slept with yet. Meanwhile, the crew leaves the ship to the cleaners, who seize control and head…somewhere else. It’s up to Picard and Riker, the only crew members left on board, to do something about it.

15
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21

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19 – Coming of Age
Realising the first half of the season is fuck-awful, Picard, Troi and Data initiate a plan to skip to a decent episode. Wesley Crusher takes an exam where you can look at the other candidates’ answers, while the crew is investigated by a little man whose mandate is to uncover a conspiracy/get screen-time.

20 – Heart of Glory
Fresh from the academy and having already pissed off Worf, Security officer Wang is put to the test after two Klingons come on board and escape from their holding cell. Will his first week on the Enterprise also be his last?

21 – Arsenal of Freedom
Riker, Data and Tasha beam down to a planet that sells weapons to potential buyers by trying to kill them. Meanwhile, Geordi takes control of the Enterprise and faces destruction at the hands of a super weapon [with no personality]!
Trivia: First episode to show a black captain commanding the Enterprise [Geordi La Forge, when Picard and Riker are fucking around on the planet]. Also the first episode to show a black captain being patronised [when Picard comes back and pats LaForge on the head].
22 – Symbiosis
The crew of the Enterprise are ordered to do an infomercial on drugs.
Trivia: This is notable for being the only episode in any series of Star Trek to show a captain freebasing heroin.
23 – Skin of Evil
An oil slick endangers the safety of the Enterprise and its crew when it starts killing them. Tasha, confused by the cameras being so close, makes a dash for the background, but the slick gets her. Picard beams down to say ‘stop it’.
24 – Conspiracy
Picard is told by three other captains that the Federation is being taken over by an outside force – can he act in time to prevent it? You’ve got forty-two minutes, Picard…
Co-starring Jan Michael Vincent, Bruce Payne and Bruce Payne [in make-up] as the three captains.

25 – The Neutral Zone
A space-time anomaly appears out of nowhere and mixes two episodes together – a group of 20th Century humans come out of cryo-sleep while the Romulans turn up and warn everyone they’re back. Picard tries to run between the two.
Trivia: Marina Sirtis was sick during filming of this episode, so scenes of Troi from previous episodes were used whenever she was on the bridge. This explains why she calls one of the Romulans ‘mother’.

26 – Picard’s Dream
Picard dreams he is a 20th Century British actor stuck on an American TV show about a star ship captain who believes he is a 20th century British actor stuck on an American TV show about a star ship captain who has visions of an alien entity who lives inside a British actor on an American TV show about a star ship captain who spends half his time in the 20th century on an American TV show where he is a British actor playing a star ship captain who must stop his crew from becoming British actors on an American TV show by travelling back in time to the 20th century and building a star ship captain from props used on an American TV show about a British actor pretending to be a star ship captain who doesn’t realise that he is actually the 20th century on a TV show shown in America which is on the verge of being taken over by star ship captains who claim all reality is really an American TV show made by British actors who refuse to play star ship captains. Picard spends the episode trying to open the window in his quarters.

Trivia: This episode is often forgotten, even by Trekkies, as it was never made.

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