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Renting a flat from an amalgamation of Jackie Derrida, Foucault, Heidi-digger and Whit Stillman [wearing the face of T-Bag from ‘Prison Break’]

April 6, 2012


Amalgamation: This is the flat, such as it is.

Renteee: Cool. Is it a good area?

Amalgamation: Yes, it’s fine, as far as any area can be called fine. I mean, theoretically, an area is nothing but a space, it only reflects that which we project onto it. A projection reflection. The space exposed as…exposing itself as…yeah.
The Rentee looks out the living room window. There’s a playground with no one playing in it.

Renteee: Will I be mugged on the way to the shops?

Amalgamation: Well, that depends on laws of the probable, not absolutes. I have never been mugged, no other renteee has been mugged, but how can I say with definite conviction that you will not be the first to be mugged?

Renteee: It looks quite rough.

Amalgamation: Does it? In what way?

Renteee: There was a man outside with a rough face. He looked like he wished it was darker so he could…

Amalgamation: That’s racist, is it not?

Renteee: The sky, not his face.

Amalgamation: But still…is there still not something in that which could be…you know, the sky isn’t actually black at night…it’s green. Not many people know that, but it’s true. Not that colours are representative, of course. No, they can’t be, they’re…it’s a singular reflexive, right? Green is green and anything else it might be is just projection. Representation of a projection from the reflection of the core of your syntax…no, not syntax, the other one…what is it?

Renteee: Anyway, that guy outside looked rough.

Amalgamation: The synthex? [Pause] What? The guy outside? Him? Ha, that’s interesting. He’s actually a lawyer, you know. Yeah, he makes a lot of money.

Renteee: He’s a lawyer?

Amalgamation: Yeah, he’s…well, no not really, no. I don’t know who you’re talking about. But he could be a lawyer. People don’t have their jobs written on their face, right?
Renteee: I’m not sure about that.
Amalgamation: Then you would be wrong, and I would be right. Do I look like a landlord? No. The job does not etch itself onto the body, it is separate, indistinct, indescribable, subtle, a kind of vagueness that drifts but never really settles. An essence that might be solid, but when thought about becomes more like an…essence. It’s something…it’s separate…indistinct…subtle…

Renteee: Yeah.

They look at the bedroom. There’s a smell of sweat and two dirty plates on the floor.
Amalgamation: The smell will be gone by the time you move in.

Renteee: Okay.
Amalgamation: Smell is temporary anyway. Theoretically, anything can be made to be anything. Do you know what I mean? Anything can be made to be anything.
The Renteee walks out of the bedroom and towards the front door, opening it. The Amalgamation follows.
Amalgamation: Have you read any Deleuze? No? Okay, well, he’s a good guy, very good. His basic premise is this: Anything can be anything. You know? A coffee cup is a coffee cup but it will also one day be dust and return to the earth where it can be…you know…a bed, or a plate or a…or a coffee cup again.
Renteee: Okay.
Amalgamation: Which is really the same for all of us. We’re all temporary, ephemeral, part time in this Universe.

Renteee: Right.
Amalgamation: I mean, what really is existence? Is it not the temporary and the centralisation of thought based around some kind of core which….which reflects back on that temporariness?
Renteee: It’s getting dark…

Amalgamation: Think about it like this. I am 100% convinced of my own existence, but what about you? You are not completely real to me, are you? No, you’re not. How can you be? I mean, what are you? Is this really happening?
Renteee: Yes.
Amalgamation: Well, is it? Is it really? Because how do I know that you’re real?

Renteee: Probability?
Amalgamation: Yes, but no. That’s wrong, isn’t it? Because the probable is also the improbable and if you turn the improbable on its side and examine it…autopsy it…then you’re left with the exposure of both the improbable and the probable, which leads to a negation and therefore an implosion of conviction which leaves…nothing.

Renteee: It’s getting darker…
Amalgamation: Is it?
The amalgamation looks at the sky, unconvinced.

Amalgamation: Is it though? I mean, dark is not necessarily a truth, is it? No, it’s not. It’s more like a state of the senses if you think about it. So when you say it’s getting darker, what you actually mean is that you believe it is no longer light, but what does that actually mean? What if I turn around and say ‘fuck you’…’fuck you, it’s not dark, it’s light’?

Renteee: I’ve gotta go.

Amalgamation: Why? Because it’s dark? Well, no, you’re wrong. If you think about it, you are wrong. Darkness doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t really mean anything in any kind of truthful way, does it?
Renteee: It means it’s nearly 7pm.
Amalgamation: Ah, and there it is…the retreat behind time! Did you know time is only a concept and if you ignore it, it ceases to exist?
Renteee: I need to get the train.
Amalgamation: But why? Why do you need to get it? What is a train, really? Is it not the same as a coffee cup, something temporary and indistinct and…subtle and the kind of vagueness that…

Renteee: I really have to go.
Amalgamation: Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. But how…you know, how can I know that for sure? How can I verify the truthfulness of your claim with any kind of…err…verification. I can’t, it’s impossible.

Renteee: Okay, well I’ll let you know about the flat.
Amalgamation: In fact, in theory…there is an 18% chance that you do not even exist. And by association, this conversation, the train, the flat, all of that only exists 18%…I mean, it only exists 18%…no, wait…how do you say that? It only exists…no, it only 18% exists…yeah, that’s it. No, wait, that’s wrong…you only 18% exist, so everything associated with you has a smaller ratio of existence…what is it? Yes, 15.72%…the train only 15.72% exists.

Renteee: Okay, man. I’ve really gotta go.
The Renteee starts walking down the street. The Amalgamation takes a few steps after him then stops and changes his mind.

Amalgamation: [to himself] Is there anyone out there even close to my level? [Pause] Unless I really am alone and these prospective rentees are simply beings of my own creation…which means, I’m dominating myself because…
The Amalgamation looks at the door, briefly questions its nature of being then closes it.
The Renteee continues walking towards the train that only 15.72 exists.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Kaia permalink
    April 7, 2012 12:06 am

    Is this about the guy who kept talking about a parallel universe? Or is it me? I really hope it’s not me.. Kaia – still girl who showed you flat

    • April 8, 2012 7:50 pm

      It’s not you. It was the guy before you. You don’t look like T-Bag from ‘Prison Break’.

  2. Pearl permalink
    April 9, 2012 4:41 pm

    Do you want to say you tried to rent a flat from Woody Allen in Al Pacino face?

    • April 9, 2012 6:37 pm

      It would be a lie. My renting days are over…

      • Pearl permalink
        April 10, 2012 10:07 am

        Good to hear that. This piece is so cultured, so polished.

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