Words I picked up/fucked up during ‘The Grandmaster’ [Wong Kar Wai, Tony Leung, Zhang Ziyi]
– ‘fan gau’ – ‘holiday’ [or ‘sleep’…I get confused between the two]
– ‘Koi/lei/or dei/Koi dei/Boku’ – ‘He/she/you/we/they/I’ – pronouns are easy
– ‘hoi’ – ‘go’ – quite common
– ‘Hai/yau’ – ‘is/have’ – also common, maybe every third or fourth sentence…
– ‘Mm Tsi’ – ‘I don’t know’ – every film, at some point, has someone who doesn’t know even if they do know.
– ‘fan’ – ‘annoying’ or ‘rice’ – I can’t tell which is which, tones are tough for me.
– ‘Ip Man’ – Tony Leung’s character name
– ‘Fo Shan’ – Place where Ip Man lives
– ‘Yen Donnie hai bin do?’ – ‘Where’s Donnie Yen?’ – guy sitting behind me. He was right, no Donnie Yen.
Amount of film I understood = 25%
22% = action
3% = the vocab listed above.
Here’s what I think the plot was:
Tony Leung fights thugs in the rain. The usual shit, they attack one or two at a time, give him time to recover, don’t use knives. Kung Fu is solid, but not spectacular. Leung meets a pretty woman with big cheeks, they fuck off-screen and have a baby. An old man talks to a small crowd, saying ‘I ‘ and ‘we’ and ‘annoying/rice’ at points. A bald man in purple interrupts and calls him a twat, beats up a few guys while the camera watches the movement of his feet.
Point of feet movement = he moves only slightly each time, readjusting his position to defend or attack the next guy. Which means: only small adjustments are required to beat someone up.
The purple man challenges someone to a fight. Leung is the man chosen. He goes to a house and is tested by three people, who each attack him. He beats them all, kind of. The fights are decided by the smallest detail. Then he tries to take some bread from the old man who gave the speech earlier. He breaks it, the old man nods and they walk out with the crowd clapping. Leung doesn’t fight the purple man.
The Japanese arrive. Or their flag arrives. The purple man takes a picture with some Japanese soldiers. Leung sells some stuff to feed his family. Donnie Yen sits in his luxury apartment wanking over tall women. The purple man goes to the old man and kicks him in the chest. The old man dies. Zhang Ziyi walks along a beach in winter. She might be related to the old man. She is joined by other people carrying flags and looking cold. They are mourning. Some other men block their path and call her a traitor for fucking an Israeli guy. She stares at them. They stare back. She stares harder and the scene breaks.
The purple man is back. He has grey hair. He is angry. He’s been angry since the start of the film. Ryan Reynolds enters and calls him one note. The purple man laughs. They have a drink. The purple man tells Ryan Reynolds about when he was a kid, his dog dying and how its damn skin peeled off like an orange. His face reconstructs. Reynolds nods. ‘Two notes, bro.’ The purple man takes out a machine gun and throws it at Reynolds face. It connects and splits his head in two. The purple man turns on the TV. Nothing much on, just Donnie Yen fucking someone tall. Where’s Tony Leung? It’s been a while. Is he okay? Where are the fights? What about the bread?
Ho Goi arr.
I can’t understand this.
Languages are tough.
I don’t study enough. I want shortcuts.
I want to learn the hard way.
It’ll get easier.
Others can do this.
I couldn’t, not for Japanese.
My ears are different.
I can’t process sounds properly.
Keep fighting, get to intermediate.
Some is better than zero.
Others can do this.
Ed Norton did this.
I love languages.
If I learn Portuguese, I can fuck Camilla Belle.
If I learn French, I can fuck Eva Green.
If I learn Romanian…
If I learn Romanian, I can fuck Romanians.
‘Never give up, never surrender’ [Tim Allen, Galaxy Quest]